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Friday, December 14th, 2018
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A pointless update. Aren't most?
Happy Holidays. Early, of course.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, November 29th, 2018
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OK, I'm finally going to give a long update. I've been posting little fragments and sentences for about a month and it's about time I sat down and really updated.
First thing: the babies! We are going to keep them! I'm so happy! They look so cute and Thanksgiving was great with them. It feels so nice to be a dad, even if I'm not really their father.
Second thing: Matt. He is finally, finally out of his I HATE THE WORLD stage. Yes! I think he is actually a normal guy again. Hopefully he won't change my mind...
Third thing: Yesterday was awesome. It was like a real family Thanksgiving. Everything seems so nice this time of year, with the cold outside and the heater on inside, and everyone talking cheerfully or reading or just enjoying being together.
Fourth thing: X-mas in a month! Time for some serious shopping. OK, I realize that sounds really stupid comming from a guy, since I really have never shopped before in my life. I always just pop into a Radio Shack or something and grab the first thing I see. I think I've given Matt a toaster for x-mas for the last three years. Anyway, this year I've decided to really SHOP. As in, go to more than one store, get multiple presents, take more than 5 minutes. It'll be dificult, but I'm up for it! I have a whole 7 people to shop for! Rach, Matt, Erin, Mom, Dad, and of course, the TWINS!
That was my long update. Chao.
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Tough choices. Not my specialty. Rach has a really tough choice to make. Good luck, Rach. I mean it.
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Friday, November 23rd, 2018
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Tuesday, November 13th, 2018
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I haven't updated in a while, but I heard that there was a whole Matt/Erin/Jesse/Chris thing going on, somthing about how Timmy told Jesse to kiss Erin, and Erin was joking with him, and Chris got mad and thought Erin wanted Jesse instead of Matt...something like that. I'm getting it all second-hand from Matt and Mandy.
The twins are so cute, and Rach, wake me up at any time, I know how big of a responsibility it is to take care of them. Even if I do look cute drooling on my pillow :)
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, November 8th, 2018
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I don't want Matt to have another break-down like he did last summer. I mean, read his journal! He seriously needs some professional help or something! I thought I'd gotten my brother back, that he'd finally returned to normal. I guess I was just in denial.
On a happier note, school's going good. Report cards came out this week. 6 Bs, 2 As. Pretty good. Of course Matt got straight As. Even when he's screwed up, he's still the brainy one in the family.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, November 3rd, 2018
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I am comming to Rach's baby shower, and I'm bringing little pink hats and sweaters for the twins. I talked to Rach and I guess I'm their father now. Well, not their real father, but you know what I mean.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, October 23rd, 2018
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Yes, I am a BAD BOY, I haven't updated if over a month! I can't belive it! Anyway, Rach is going to have the twins soon...can't wait! And Matt's back home, even though he hasn't updated in forever.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, September 19th, 2018
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Matt's comming home, I dont care when or how, but he's comming home! I told mom and dad and they just stared at me, so now they think i'm insane, but who cares???
This Just In (as of yesterday): Rememebr Jenny??? Go back to my 1st few entries if u dont, but guess what? she called me the other day and is all "I want you back, David!" Plus, she IMed me last night:
jennynnej: hi
XdavidballingerX: what do u want
jennynnej: Have u forgiven me yet?
XdavidballingerX: no. stop calling me. stop IMing me
jennynnej: Dont be mad
XdavidballingerX: go away
jennynnej: Please, Davie
jennynnej: I love you
XdavidballingerX: go away
jennynnej: i luv u!!!!!
So I'm mixed up and confused right now. I hate Jenny, especially cause she's trying to steal me back. No way! I luv Rach!
I blocked jenny. But, knowing her, she'll get another sn and keep harassing me.
Ugh.
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Thursday, September 12th, 2002
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Updating my life:
-I am now an only child, since my sibling has run away from home and I haven't seen him in almost 2 weeks, and I doubt I'll ever see him again
-Erin, by now, had probably given up all hope for Matt
-Rach is never on, and I haven't talked to her in over a month and I miss her
-Everyone here is either DEAD or are so busy w/ other journals that they can't post every now and then
-must_be_sibs either needs more ppl or needs its members to post more, cause it's dead also
-yeah, i'm bored so I'm updating
Chao peepz
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, September 9th, 2002
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ljmatty: hey man!
XdavidballingerX: matt???
ljmatty: yeah
XdavidballingerX: WHERE R U?
ljmatty: internet cafe
XdavidballingerX: mom + dad are going nutz
ljmatty: y?
XdavidballingerX: i lied and told them u hich-hiked back home but when we got here u were obviously not here
ljmatty: lol
XdavidballingerX: NOT lol
ljmatty: y
XdavidballingerX: they're WORRIED
ljmatty: put them on, i'll talk to them
XdavidballingerX: they're at the police station!
ljmatty: whoa, because of me?
XdavidballingerX: YES!!!!!
ljmatty: g2g
XdavidballingerX: no!
XdavidballingerX: dont u dare!
XdavidballingerX: UGH!!!!!
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Sunday, September 8th, 2002
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Monday, September 2nd, 2002
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We. Are. Here.
Just got in this morning. Matt looks nervous. Jittery. Mom + Dad say we're gonna stay here a couple days, see the sights (whatever they are) then leave for home.
In between the sights and the trip home, my brother is going to leave us. Or maybe he'll leave before the sights.
I'm preparing a list of things to tell him before he leaves cause I might never see him again, and even if I do, it won't be for many years.
1. We haven't gotten along recently, but I'll miss you when your gone.
2. Mom + Dad won't go home w/out you, so I'll tell them u decided u were bored of the trip and hitched it back home. I hope u appreciate my lie.
3. Don't give up on Erin. She's going crazy cause ur leaving. You do love her, don't you?
4. Don't forget to write or call me.
5. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!!!
Goodbye Matt
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Saturday, August 31st, 2002
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Matt threatened me today. He said if I tell Mom + Dad that he's leaving he'll kill me.
Somehow I dont belive its an empty threat. He's been acting wild lately. Not talking, like I said before, and not doing anything. He stares out of the window of the van, just looking at the road. At night he doesnt sleep. Just lies there with his eyes open. Last night I found him watching me. When he saw me looking at him, he rolled over.
How can a person change in a matter of 2 months? At the beginning of the summer Matt was just plain Matt. Happy about the summer break. Happy about Erin. I actually could talk to him.
Now he's seriously creepy. When you talk to him he stares off into the distance like he's looking behind you, like he sees something you dont. I told him he didnt have the guts to leave, but i know he does.
Do I want him to leave?
Some days yes. I just want rid of him. But other days I want him to stay, to be the old Matt.
I'm not afraid of his threat. Not really.
He doesnt have the guts to kill me.
Does he?
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Friday, August 30th, 2002
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Sooooo tired. Ugh. We've been forced to wake up early each morning just so we can get an "early start". It's not usually light when we head out. The hotels we're stopping at are dumpy. A bed. A bathroom. A window, smeared with sticky fingerprints.
Excuse me if I'm babbling. I've been going insane the last 3 days. My cell phone is on, so everyone PLEASE CALL ME. I've talked to Rach a few times, but Mom + Dad dont let me stay on too long. Matt and I dont talk. Actually he doesnt talk at all. Nothing. I guess it's his way of being stubborn. Kinda immature, if you ask me.
Notez 4 ppl:
Rach--I luv u and miss u, I'll call u tonite, kay?
Erin--Dont cry over matt. He'll come back. He doesnt have the guts to leave.
Matt--It's ur fault we're in this mess. Dont even TRY to sepeak to me for a while or I'll toss u through the car windshield.
I might not be able to get back on the net 4 a while. Stay kewl ppl.
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Tuesday, August 27th, 2002
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Parents' solution?
Road Trip.
Guess I'll have to go into detail. Briefly. We leave tomorrow at dawn so I have to get to bed.
Mom got home at nine thirty. Know why she wass late? Tonight was the night she picked my dad up at the airport from his business trip.
They flipped out when I told them that Matt left at 3:15 this afternoon. None of us knew where the apartment was, since he didn't happen to tell me that useful fact. Guess he was planning on leaving for good.
But then who rings the doorbell? Matty. He forgot his wallet in his desk drawer and had come to get it.
We sat down as a family and Mom and Dad started lecturing him. And me! They said I've been shunning him a lot lately (yes, "shunning"!). They said that we're going to become a disfunctional family if we keep this up (too late mom and dad).
Their plan: Road trip. To promote family unity.
They dont care that school's going on. They dont care that we DO have lives. No, tomorrow morning, early, we're leaving for Washington. The STATE. The road trip'll take WEEKS!
I told them I'm bringing my laptop. And my cell phone so that I can get online. They said no way. I said (and this is, believe it or not, a direct quote): "You think we're a bad family now? Believe me, you don't wanna see what I'll do if I can't get online for a month. Isn't a bad family better than no family at all?"
Yes, that was probably the STUPIDEST THING I have EVER said in my LIFE. I was threatening to KILL them, basically!
It worked, I hate to say. Of course, I'm grounded for a YEAR when we get back, and Dad's thinking of sending me to millitary school, but still they allowed me to pack my cell phone and laptop.
And tomorrow, we're off.
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How old is Matt again? Four?! He's acting like it!
He's not happy at home. He's depressed and he hates me. Big deal. He's a jerk. But now he's crossed the line. He's acting like a spoiled brat!
Here's what happened (for posterity's sake, i guess): I come home form school yesterday and Matt's whistling. Whistling! So i ask what's up. And he says he just bought himself an apartment. And I'm like WHAT? I mean, I know he's rich from being in DS, but why would he buy his own pad? He HAS a house! He's part of the family, even thought he doesn't ACT it!
And then he says he's moving out tomorrow (today). TODAY!
He's moving out and he's not even in college yet. Does anyone else think that's messed up???
So then I said what are you gonna do about school. And he's like, well i dunno. Might go, might not.
This is MATT we are talking about. 95-average Matt. He suddenly feels like school's optional.
I think he finally cracked.
Wonder what Mom'll do when she comes home and finds him gone. Maybe I don't wanna be here when that happens.
I'll update later.
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Saturday, August 24th, 2002
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in 2 days! This year mom n' dad have decided to send me to a PRIVATE school, a BOYS ONLY school. I mean, this school is tough stuff! If they find u w/ a girl on the campus, ur out. And the uniforms are a white shirt and blue pants. ALWAYS! At least itz only 2 blocks from home so i dont have to board there or anything.
Matt and I are speaking again...kinda. I say hi to him some days. Sometimes he says hi back. That kind of brilliant thing. Home life = bad but school = worse.
Where has summer gone?
To the dogs.
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Sunday, August 18th, 2002
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"why'd u have to go and make
things so coplicated?
i see the way ur acting like
ur somebody else
gets me frustrated
life's like this you
fall
and u
crawl
and u
break
and u
take
what u've got
and u turn it into
honesty..."
No, the song doesnt represent anything, its just going through my head right now. I got the CD a couple days ago (AL is so hot (not hotter than Rach, though)) and havent stopped listening to it. It's an obsession I guess.
Time to go bug Matt. He's been too quiet for the last hour.
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davidballinger's journal
awake.
bouncy.
depressed.